Am I In Burnout? Or Am I Just Experiencing Misalignment?

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that shows up not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you’ve been doing something hard for a long time without enough relief.

It doesn’t always announce itself dramatically. Sometimes it sounds like irritability where there used to be patience, or a sense of dread on Sunday evenings that didn’t exist before. Sometimes it looks like disengagement, or a quiet pulling back, or the feeling that even after rest, something still feels off.

I’ve been noticing this kind of exhaustion more and more lately. And one group where it shows up especially clearly right now is teachers.

My neighbor is a teacher. One of my closest friends is a teacher. And they’re both in that stretch of the school year that doesn’t get talked about enough - the point where winter break is long behind you, spring break feels impossibly far away, and the tiredness starts to settle in as something more permanent than temporary.

This isn’t the frantic exhaustion of the beginning of the year, when everything is new and adrenaline carries you through. And it’s not the end-of-year push either, when the finish line is close enough to see. This is a quieter, heavier tired. The kind that shows up when the days are still cold and gray, routines are fully set, and the challenges you started the year with haven’t gone away.

At this point, most teachers know what’s likely to change and what isn’t. Behavior issues that appeared early on have either eased as kids matured, or they haven’t. And if they’re still present now, there’s often a quiet understanding, sometimes spoken, sometimes not, that the odds of meaningful change before the end of the year are slim.

That reality carries weight.

Because when you’re managing the same challenges day after day, without relief or resolution, the work doesn’t just feel tiring. It starts to feel heavy. And heavy is harder to carry than busy.

What’s important to name, though, is that this pattern isn’t unique to teaching.

I see the exact same thing in healthcare, where chronic understaffing and emotional labor have become normalized. I see it in director-level roles, where leaders are expected to absorb pressure without the authority to change the conditions creating it. I see it in organizations navigating funding loss or constant uncertainty, where stress quietly becomes part of the job description.

Different roles. Different environments. Same experience.

Long-term stress becomes the baseline. Temporary challenges turn into permanent

conditions. And people start to wonder if the problem is them.

It usually isn’t.

Over the years, I’ve worked with many people in caring or high-responsibility roles and the feeling is the same across so many of them. They reach out not always because they’re ready to make a change, and not always because they’ve made a decision, but because something feels off in a way they can’t ignore anymore.

They’re tired in a different way.

This is often where conversations about burnout begin. But it’s also where things can get confusing, because burnout and misalignment can feel almost identical at first.

You’re tired. You’re less patient. Your motivation has faded. Things that used to feel manageable now feel overwhelming. So the natural conclusion is, I must be burned out. I just need rest.

Sometimes that’s true. Rest matters. Recovery matters.

But sometimes, especially at this point in a long cycle, what you’re experiencing isn’t burnout alone.

It’s misalignment.

Misalignment between the effort you’re giving and the support you’re receiving. Misalignment between your values and what the role actually requires. Misalignment between who you are now and the version of yourself the job expects you to be.

This is the part many people miss. You can take time off, rest, and still feel heavy when you return. It’s not because rest didn’t work, but because you went back into the same conditions that created the exhaustion in the first place. I’ve seen clients come back from time off feeling more depleted than when they left, simply because the break clarified how unsustainable things had become.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your system is giving you information.

This is also where managers and leaders play a much bigger role than they often realize.

When someone on your team is in this place, the answer usually isn’t another perk or a morale boost (pizza party on a random Friday, anyone?) - that misses the mark. 

What does help is feeling seen, understood, and valued in a way that actually resonates with the individual.

One place many leaders get stuck is assuming appreciation looks the same for everyone. In reality, people receive recognition very differently. Some feel valued through words. Others through flexibility, support, autonomy, time, or tangible acknowledgment. Learning how each member of your team feels genuinely appreciated can make a meaningful difference.

Helpful Tip! If you’re unsure where to start, the 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace can be a helpful framework.

What I see, over and over, is that when people begin to understand whether they’re dealing with burnout, misalignment, or a mix of both, something subtle but important shifts. They stop blaming themselves. They stop pushing harder by default. They stop assuming their only options are to quit or to endure.

One client recently left a review about her experience, and it’s stayed with me:

“Therapy for your career is an understatement — Brandi’s guidance has helped me turn the volume down on my inner ‘imposter syndrome’ voice, and turn the volume up on my self-belief, strategic ability, and my self-confidence.”

That shift doesn’t come from forcing confidence. It comes from understanding what’s actually happening beneath the exhaustion and responding to it with clarity rather than judgment.

That clarity might lead to small but meaningful adjustments - protecting pockets of energy where possible, setting boundaries that are realistic rather than ideal, or simply giving themselves permission to question long-term fit without needing an immediate answer. For others, it might look like reassessing leadership expectations, naming what’s no longer sustainable, or acknowledging where values and reality have drifted apart.

One of the most powerful changes I see happens when people stop asking, What’s wrong with me? and start asking, What is this exhaustion trying to tell me?

That question doesn’t demand immediate action. It doesn’t force a decision before you’re ready. But it does open the door to clarity, and clarity tends to be gentler, and more useful, than urgency.

If this season feels especially heavy for you, you’re not imagining it. This is a predictable point in long, demanding cycles where exhaustion surfaces, and it deserves attention rather than dismissal.

If you’re unsure whether what you’re experiencing is burnout, misalignment, or something in between, I created a short quiz called “Is It Burnout or Misalignment?” as a reflection tool. And no, I’m not a mental health clinician so this isn’t a formal diagnosis. But as someone who has gone through burnout 3 times, I want to pass on any resource that can be of service. Burnout is hard. And even harder to overcome.

You don’t have to make a big decision today. You don’t have to know what’s next. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is simply name what you’re carrying and understand why it feels so heavy.

That understanding alone can change how the rest of the year feels.

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